One of the great sillies of communication is the expression,
“we just don’t communicate.”
The problem for so many is that they do communicate all the time, but
they do so without thought or intention.
Oh, sure, they have an intention regarding the content of their
statement, but not the full impact of the message as delivered.
The fact is, we communicate through the use of many
elements, and the actual content of the message is part of it. Our word choice, tone (that is the quality of
our voice not the metaphorical “tone”), speed of our speaking, our facial
expressions, our touch (pat on the back, handshake, no touch, etc.), how close
or far away we stand from the other…even the angle at which we stand (as in
straight face to face or standing next to someone with both of you looking at a
sunset for example), all have an impact, and sometimes a dramatic one at that,
on the message. The problem the person
stating they don’t communicate has, is that they have lost control of the
communication and has left it to happenstance.
You can take back that control by becoming intentional.
Many times in classes I’ve given these as the “nine words to
You always get a result from whatever you do.
When you pass through a room and don’t speak to a person and
you do speak to another, you’re leaving an unintended message behind. If you walk into a room with a scowl on your
face, again you’re leaving a message. Are
you leaving the intended imprint each and every time you have contact and interaction
with someone? Are you aware of your body
language, facial expressions, how close or far from someone you are, what words
you’re using and how your voice is behaving? All these things matter.
Become aware and more intentional in your communication and
use the ideas in my video for using behavioral language, and you will
dramatically improve your communication skill.
And always remember, if you take my suggestions and use them, or if you
don’t and continue to do as you currently do, you will get a result from you
communication. After all, you always get
a result from whatever you do. The real
question is, do you know what result you want from this communication and are
you doing what it takes to get it? If your
answer is yes, you are already an excellent communicator, regardless of its